What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
