True but thats because hes a fetus.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
