Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
