Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
