Me. At least after what I've been through.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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