Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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