me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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