Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
