also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
lol hangovers are for mortals.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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