Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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