He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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