Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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