I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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