My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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