that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
