i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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