you traded sex for a burrito?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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