I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
