If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Your penis caused this!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
