And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
3 2 1 whiskey
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
