respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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