We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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