For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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