I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
