have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
