you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
