Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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