new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
