i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
