just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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