it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
