If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
