in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i love accidental penises.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
