He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We got so high we made milksteak
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
