Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
