i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
