So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
