sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
