I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
