I hate your face
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
