I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She announced her abortion via fbk
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
