What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize