Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
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Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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