If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
