I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
did i walk over a car last night?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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