Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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