you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
