summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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