theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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