After last night, I could never be a politician.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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