Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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