when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize