I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
