i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
