goodnight i made you a song goodbye
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
