just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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