ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
