I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
