Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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