my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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