the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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