Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
